A calmer birthday, in five decisions

A children's birthday doesn't have to be loud to be fun. Most of the calm parties we've been to came down to a handful of choices made early.

1. Pick one activity, not five

One thing everyone does together beats a schedule of stations. It gives the party a middle, and the children something to talk about at pickup.

2. Let the table do the hosting

Set the places before anyone arrives. A kraft paper runner, a name card, a figure and a brush at every seat. Children sit down at a table that looks ready for them.

3. Make the favor at the party

Skip the plastic goody bag. Whatever they painted is the thing they take home, and they'll be prouder of it than of anything you could buy.

4. Keep the palette small

Three or four colors on the table, on the napkins, on the cake. It photographs better, and it feels calmer in the room.

5. Plan an hour, not three

An hour of making, half an hour of cake, and a little time to run around. Everyone leaves before they're tired. That's the whole trick.